Pain is feeling we have all endured. Others may have a higher tolerance. As for myself, I’ve been through traumatic sequences in my childhood to adulthood to understand how it is to undergo events that could’ve broken me, or have. Being physically abused young had taught me to emotionally detach, but I learned from a young age to control my breathing. I find that when I am in immense physical pain. I will breathe slow to trick my brain. See, once you begin to have a grasp on how powerful your brain is, you begin to realize that with discipline you’ll have more control. As you breathe slowly during a painful occurrence your heart will begin to slow down, and pump blood slower. The tactic that I use when I’m itchy is to distract myself. We take simple solutions for granted. Controlled breathing doesn’t only help you with physical pain but mental pain. Now, let me explain it. When you’re upset or angry, it is easy to let emotions take control but the outcome is never worth it. Staying calm under pressure is a skill. Once you’re able to have full control over emotions society can no longer trigger you. You’re able to think more clearly and consciously instead of acting upon brash emotions. This can also apply to business decisions and all aspects in life. When pertaining to relationships, and talking stages I’ve learned to never take things personally and that people will flow. Men are replaceable but so are women. I learned the art of detachment, and I do feel emotions however, I won’t let emotions take over me. You are in more self control of yourself than you think that you are. I tend to love having people underestimate me, but in the end I prove those wrong. I display that I am chaotic (which I can be) but most of the time. I am aware and in control. I am a very strategic person compared to how I display myself. I love playing the card of being predictable, my most favorite is the ignorance card. So, I let people think what they want, and I sit an observe intentions and actions. I don’t let it conflict with who I truly am. Others that downplay you give you an upper hand. Always, even in sales, use it as a strength. When people think you’re weak, that’s actually when you have the most hold. In order to understand emotional intelligence, you have to speak to an array of people and learn different social etiquette. It all starts with clarity, breathing, strategy and always thinking of the next five steps ahead or options that you create.
Becoming emotionally detached
I am able to show affection but I am not able to feel on an empathetic level with many people. It’s on a rare occasion that I can. People feel comfortable with me, for an odd reason. In order to build a soldier you have to break them, physically and mentally in order for transformation to occur. We learn new lessons as we go. Just like muscle we learn in order to obtain gains, we put in the work to tear our muscles. I am thankful for the obstacles I have faced in life because without them, I wouldn’t be as resilient as I am now. I always tend to compare myself to an optimal version of myself. Happy, angry or depressed. I learned to gear all my energy and place emphasis on hard work. My family constantly remind me to focus on my happiness, but if you think about it. Happiness will be an outcome from hard work. Any emotional distress that I come upon, I convert it to work or training. Someone that has emotional intelligence, high IQ and is resilient is a dangerous mix. I learned from tech sales and nightlife that you have to be quick, yet efficient when pertaining to business and people. I realized that, as a woman anything is easy nowadays. Though, as that is true but I’ve always taken the riskier and tougher route. I’ve built myself to compete with the optimal version of myself. Once you learn to put your emotions aside you will become dangerous. Our minds are so powerful and I think people downplay that fact. Especially, due to the distractions around us in this day and age. Don’t get distracted, because there’s always someone that works harder, better looking, and smarter.
Being self aware is understanding your strengths and weaknesses. I write down my weaknesses and failures, along with prompts that I can take to improve myself. Learn to overcome impulses, with delayed gratification. I learn to work very hard for small goals, that will eventually build your mentality to do so for everything else. Example: I wanted a new pair of Jordans. It’s easy to impulsively purchase items but instead of buying items right away, I find one of my weaknesses and work on it for a week or two. Once I have completed that goal, I reward myself. I did this same concept with going back to Charlotte. I wrote myself goals that I needed to accomplish before I went back to close my chapter. Not only did I learn to cherish my time more, this also taught me to always keep my word. Words are so powerful. You don’t want to quit on yourself or lie to yourself.
Why does Kim have commitment issues?
I don’t fail, but even if I come upon a loss it’s never an L. They’re life lessons. I am mentally and physically tough. I’ve learned to focus, and make myself dangerous by controlling my emotional and mentality. Withstanding, the pain and observing others helps me control the situation by letting others have a perception of me that they’ve built.
I’ve been told by others that I have commitment issues and I believe that is incorrect. I have a strong work ethic, and I train religiously. My daily routine is on time blocks. I am committed to success. I honestly don’t feel that I am capable of being loved by anyone. So, I am happy with being single. As long as I am successful, and my family would never have to work a day in their lives. I have goals that are tough to achieve that requires a ton of concentration. I don’t have feelings for anyone, because my mind is set on everything that I want to achieve. I can easily tell someone that I love them and not mean a word. In sales, we learn to be charismatic. We get paid for making people feel heard and important. Majority of the time, I end up putting people in the friend zone. I don’t like to waste my time. I am not the type to fight for someone in this day and age, and I don’t like it when people are too clingy to me. I need space. I am constantly misunderstood and I don’t like when people impose on me, especially when knowing of my past. My ideal person is kind, quiet, and understanding. I am a handful. Who knows? Maybe, I will find someone? However, I am pretty masculine for a woman at times. I am protective over my heart and feelings. I also have very good intuition. So, I understand the difference between someone that is just for fun and someone that I am willing to invest, support, lead (when I need to), and show my caring side to. People that are just fun, they are just phases. People that are meant to stay in my life, I will give them the world. I’ve walked through hell. I have overcome so many obstacles that majority of people wouldn’t be able to withstand. I know my value. That’s why when it pertains to emotions and relationships, I put them on the back burner. Even when it relates to sex. I have self control and discipline when sex is involved. I would rather not increase my body count. Once I find one person, they become my person. I don’t like to give my soul to everyone, and I can tell if people are just using me as well. Due to the fact that I easily can detach and use work to distract and improve myself. I don’t find myself taking a loss. I am happy with people moving on with their lives. I build myself and uphold myself to standards that I feel my optimal self would be.
My failures are not failures, they’re life lessons. It’s repetitive but I am an overachiever. Anything I put my mind to, I accomplish. I move quick because the quicker I move, the more time and opportunities I have to make money. More ideas. Along with that, I’ve built myself to become aware of perceptions by giving people the idea of being predictable. It gives me control. People that personally know me, they understand I am very inquisitive, intelligent, strategic, loving, and weird. Honestly, it takes time to build this mentality but nothing can destroy me. Majority of people could not last a day in the shoes I’ve walked in.
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