Finding yourself can feel like you’re digging for a needle in a haystack. I’ve felt so lost, and currently I understand that life is not perfect but the best that I can do is be proactive, thankful and live in the present.
I’ve surrounded myself with experiences in life that I realized that most probably wouldn’t be able to live. However, there’s the good, bad and ugly. I have people that are always concerned of me, even in places that shouldn’t concern me. Learning to live past the noise and redirection is the best way. Once you let people under your skin, that’s when you’ve truly lost. A game of chess is being strategic, thinking five steps ahead and thinking about your opponents strategy.
Where I went wrong?
I didn’t learn to pace myself from the jump. I trusted people too easily, and I’ve gotten involved in the politics. I should’ve been nicer and worked with everyone that I felt was worth the time. I tend to move quick, fast. Then, I’m on the go again. Or, there’s always something new. I realized that I need a break. I love being around people that make me feel as if I don’t need my phone. The downtime is great if it’s well worth it. The universe has its way of working. If things are meant to be, they will be. I’m beginning to let everything happen naturally and unravel. It’s actually an amazing feeling. The more successful I become, the more I am likely to disappear. Some want to get rich to be seen, mine is to disappear.
Typing from a view
Just imagine. Getting picked up in a McLaren after a long day… getting lobster towers, desert, home, Netflix watching You, cuddles and everything else. Imagine waking up, kissing your person, getting them water, showering, and getting breakfast ready as they’re sleeping. Imagine your person telling you to stay and not go.. even after getting on their nerves. So, now you’re on a couch in living room on your phone.
I love being taken care of, someone that asks me if I’ve eaten or need anything to hydrate. It warms my heart when someone takes those initiatives. I’m used to that type of treatment, even the most asshole of asshole men will make sure you’re nourished. They probably won’t listen to how you feel but they’ll make sure you’re healthy lol
A girl in California can dream 💭
Since, I still think about the person that maybe that I’m supposed to be with in the end
Learning to not be accessible to everyone
I’m learning to not apologize for every minuscule thing. Don’t ever be sorry for something that you didn’t cause. Learn to be quiet when you’re not an expert, to play dumb when needed, to be patient and understand that it’s all a process. Also, learning to live on the present and keep my life private. It’s a lot I’m learning in my first year, and there’s many more years ahead of me. Well, maybe. If I decide to commit suicide earlier then, maybe not. Learning to let everything flow naturally, if you grasp on anything too hard you’ll lose it. I’m also learning to not be available to everyone, events, and even photographers.. yet it’s a mix of having fun and living life..
I’ve dug myself out of the toughest moments in my life, and yet even at my lowest I still gave, prayed and worked hard. Sometimes, you really have to struggle in order to understand what you can do with your blessings?
Question: What value do you bring to the world?
I think once you realize the value that you bring to the world, that’s when even more money will flow in. Then again, it won’t be primarily about the money. I’m not saying to solely chase your passion. Of course, money is important but it’s also great to think beyond that too. Sometimes you need to breathe, meditate, make lists, and reroute. I try my best to not listen to everything around me, and focus on what I can do next. Miracles do happen, but it’s faith, family/friends (collaboration) and hard work. I realized that I don’t need to announce my next moves, that was my biggest mistakes.
Lessons learned
1) Don’t trust easily. I learned that you only tell people what you feel that the person should know. There’s times I just test people by telling them one thing.. if I find out someone else knows or if they’re throwing subliminal shade. I keep my circle small, so I will always know.
2) Plan accordingly, live off my calendar and notebooks and prioritize what’s worth my ROI
3) Talk to friends and family. Well, the only times I really talk to my friends is about business. I am known to be the crybaby model of the group. Little rambunctious sister but I need to mature for everyone around me. I wasn’t able to live my childhood out, and I grew up so quick. I know, I’m not ideal.
4) Keep all details of life away from Instagram. Well, I have to show more of who I am on there but not everything. It’s kinda the idea of don’t tell unless asked. Honestly, this is a lot. I never knew how observant people were.
5) Pace yourself. Not everything has to be quick, this can literally make your or break you. I’ve learned fast money, instant gratification, and quick growth. I’m learning to lay back and let it happen without pressure. I am enough
6) What’s worth my ROI. If you’re not providing me any happiness, consistency, or financial stability (my career). It will not be welcomed into my life or just simply cut out. I’m learning to stop taking shit from people.
I want to make that point my last one, 36 is my lucky number. I don’t want to write out 36 reasons lmao
Questions to ask yourself
Who are you? What are your goals? How can you achieve those goals? What are the steps and procedures? Why are you pursuing this?
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